for the fellas.

-I don’t like when you blatantly stare at me – ‘let’s do it’ eyes, puppy dog eyes and stalker eyes do not turn me on.

-I don’t like when you cheesily compliment me. I can see right through a forced and painfully obvious pick up line or flattering remark.

-I don’t like when you make me feel, or try to make me feel, guilty for not being interested in you. I don’t feel guilty at all and those passive aggressive jokes about “well, manda’s never going to be with me anyways” are 100% correct.

-I don’t like when you think you have me pegged and “understand” how I work; you don’t. The more you suck up the more you suck.

*if I was interested in you, you would know it, and if you want me to be interested in you then stop doing any of the above list.

Lloyd:  What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me…ending up together? 
Mary:  Not good.
Lloyd:  You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary:  I’d say more like one out of a million.
Lloyd:  So you’re telling me there’s a chance.  Yeah!

Harsh? Yeah. Thems the breaks.

And moms: No, I'm not interested in your sons and don't keep asking me when I'm getting married!