Four months have passed now since I came to Germany to escape the hot Indian summer. Actually, that’s not true. I left India not to escape the summer, but to escape spiritual reality and mask it with lustful material desires of a young 25 year old girl ready to manipulate the world. But now that my journey to the West is almost complete I find myself yearning for the beautiful chaos that is India instead of the perfectly manicured cobble stone streets of Europe. The Gods must be crazy…
I can’t tell you how many times I have heard people tell me that fleeing to India is escaping “real” life. But what my friends is considered real life to you? Is it paying some unreasonable price for a shitty education just to end up working at starbucks? Is it the goal of a white picket fence and remodeling each room in your house just to tick the time away? Is it finding that special someone, raising a family with them and then struggling to make ends meet all the while silently despising yourself for settling? Is that truly real life? No. And boy do I know that I am the rule, not the exception. Why would it be any different for me? Would it be because I will try harder to manipulate my circumstances so they turn out the way I want them to? If that was the case then a hell of a lot more people would be livin’ large. No this is not “real” life… in fact that’s not living life at all.
When I set down in Europe I was wide eyed with the possibilities that lied before me. I was free from the austere life lived for 2 years in India and was like a kid in a candy store, the good life was finally at my doorstep. But I quickly came to notice that only the allure and promise of enjoyment is all one will get, not the actual gratifying end result. To “keep up with the Jones’” means to work like an ass day and night until you’re finally established enough to afford what you want. And guess when that ends up being? Yeah well next time you see a hot Audi or Jaguar, look at the old dude driving it. India really did a number on me; I couldn’t live in ignorant bliss anymore… although I wish I could. Shit, ok, im not saying im above the material allure either! If I had it my way I would be some hotshot photographer traveling the world in my Audi R8; flashing my rolex walking down the streets of Monaco! But it probably won’t happen and will certainly not grant me any piece of mind or true happiness. In the end all the candy is the same; once you’ve tasted some, you’ve tasted them all, and that sweet gratifying taste that once drove your mind wild will stale. No, this is not life; merely an illusion.
Afflicted by thoughts of my decaying body and what little time I had left, I pondered on what really made me happy and relatively content for the moment. And all I could think of was Mayapur… and I still cannot stop thinking about it. Mayapur is simple, peaceful, spiritual and real. Our only goal in this life is to surrender to God and serve Him with love, and the Holy Dham is the perfect place for this realization. Everywhere you go and everything you see is Krsna. Each day your breath is stolen by the beauty of Radha-Madhava. Tropical birds sing to Vedic hymns being chanted from an endless line of temples. The mornings and evenings are filled with dancing and singing in the temple, and the afternoons lazily walking the grounds chanting and meditating. Friends from all over the world are there to love you and help you along your journey. How could this not be real life? Mayapur Dham is non-different from the spiritual world, which is our true home and reality. And while I am still conscious enough to recognize a good thing, nay, the best thing, im gonna go after it with everything I’ve got.
I don’t know where I will end up in this lifetime. I have already lived so many lives in so many places. I might even one day end up in Monaco if I desire it so badly. But I figure that while im still relatively young, free and willing, I am going to devote my energy to finding out my true self and render some devotional service; because this is never a loss - only a gain. And yes, God realization can be done anywhere in the world, but I am a foolish girl unsteady on the path of enlightenment and I need all the help I can get. So Mayapur here I come again ready live your reality and swallow my foolish young lust... for the time being ;)
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